DOD

So, Dad was in the hospital for 10 days. Crazy! From Sunday to Tuesday. The reason why he wasn't peeing so well was because the cancer had collapsed his stints. (they attach from his kidneys to his bladder) So on Friday, they put in nephrostomy tubes in his back. (they attach to his kidneys, and that is where he pees) He didn't want us to call him on Friday night because he was in a lot of pain. :( My dad is SO strong, and is always fighting, so sometimes it's sad to hear he doesn't want to take phone calls, but I understand. Then, on Monday, they put thicker stints back in so he can pee on his own and that procedure went well. He still is in a lot of pain and isn't eating very well.
The doctor says it's time for Hospice or a facility, but my dad said No. He's so stubborn and such a fighter, but I appreciate it. I'd rather him fight than wait to die. It sure would help Kellie though. His brother will be coming down soon and then Bev, Todd, and I, I hope, so that should be help.
Kellie and Dad went to Houston yesterday. She said he's very sick and was puking all night. They said he has a tumor up his chest that is probably pressing on something. They probably can't remove it, which is not good. :( Hopefully he can still get the experimental treatment. Kellie will keep us posted.

Here's a picture from the hospital last week on Sunday. 3/25/12 He has such good spirits. I love him. :)

(he looks so skinny, but he's so handsome.)

DOD

Some good news from Will. The poor kidney function and itchiness are side affects of the drugs, which is part of the reason he has felt so crappy. Revelmed is the drug. He will go off of it for a week. Also, cancer cells release potasium when they die, which is why his potasium levels are high. So, that is good bc some cancer cells are dying. Will said, "they (cancel cells) are everywhere, so i'm sure it takes time. (to kill them) Any reduction is good. Might be just a matter of whether they die faster than they regenerate." He said we can't get our hopes up, but any good news bring new hope. :)

A perfect day for lunch at the park!

After Saturday morning chores, they deserved a special day! :) It was McKenna's idea. I wanted a nap. Teehee.  So, we packed up our lunches, went to the Main Street park and had a picnic at the park!

Soo fun and so worth it!

Moms and Muffins.

Heber Valley Elementary does Mom's and Muffins and Dad's and Donuts. So cute and so fun! I love spending the morning reading to them in their own classroom!

Isn't this adorable!

So precious!  They love each other so much.

DOD

Dad got out of the hospital last Saturday. They inserted catheters to drain the lungs, and the nurse comes by every couple of days to drain the bottles that the liquid goes into. By Monday he was sitting by the pool on his deck, soaking in the sun. For a moment, and I know I'm not the only sibling who feels this way, but for a moment, there's a little ...embarrassment for posting on my blog, telling my boss what's going on, telling friends, family. Maybe they'll think I was being dramatic. But, that's just it. That's cancer. It's up and down, it's a roller coaster. You just don't know, and it's not easy. It's especially not easy for my Dad. But we always have hope. Isaac tells me not to get my hopes up too much, but I always do. I thought things maybe, just maybe would turn around...
Ryan got down to FL on Wednesday and Scott on Thursday. Wednesday night was the first time he puked. Then he puked a couple of more times on Thursday and Friday. He then puked more on Saturday. He really hasn't been eating much, but just the little that he does, he has trouble keeping down. He hasn't been peeing enough, his stomach hurts really bad (that's where the cancer is growing...rapidly, I would assume), and he is still sleeping and gets tired a lot. Saturday the phone calls started pooring.. from one sibling to the next. "Is Dad going to the hospital?" Dad knew what all this meant, or what he thought it meant, because none of us are doctors. But.. his kidneys are failing. Mom said that the kidneys are the first organ to go. BUT, we've gone through kidney failure before. He's had dialysis and he has recovered!
Dad didn't want to go to the hospital all day Saturday. Mom said that he didn't want to go, because he didn't think they'd send him home.... Ryan said he just kept on holding it off. Let me eat this, let me rest, let me take this pill, let's see if this works. He sure is strong!
Sunday, Dad stilll hadn't gone in. I think Kellie pretty much told Ryan he needed to take him in. So, about 10pm FL time, Dad called me on the way in. He sounds sick and tired. Says he's lost a lot of weight too. :(
They've done some testing. His creatine levels are back up, no surprise. His potassium levels are up, and he has a UTI infection again, both being related to the kidneys. Tomorrow morning, Monday, he will have an ultrasound done on his kidneys. I'm not sure what they're looking for, but Ryan said maybe just the function. I guess we'll see.

I can't sleep. I know I have said this before, but I am not kidding when I say it's hard to let yourself go back to where you were in September. And maybe you don't understand it until you go through it, but it just can't be real this time. ..it wasn't last time... I don't know. Saturday morning, Dad, Mom, and the 5 oldest siblings went and picked out Dad's plot. (they went Friday night also, but didn't like the location as much) It's right under a big oak tree. Seems so perfect for him. You know what he said though? "What do you think Carol?" My mom said she was shocked. My parents are divorced, but deep down, I know they care for each other. Of course they do, they spent almost 30 years married and have 8 awesome :) children together. My mom put down a deposit on a spot right next to his. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Mom said she never wanted to be buried alone anyway, it's so perfect to have them together. It's perfect for us. Reality is setting in. Occasionally I'll get tearied eyed, but tonight when I talked to my dad, that's when it hit me the most. Reality. Things just aren't good. He said he'll be around for a couple more weeks. ....but that's all he said. I hate to read into things, but I couldn't help but wonder if that's all he thought.
Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be so long, but one more thing. Us triplets haven't been down this time yet. Man, we need too! Dad kind-of wants us to go one at a time, because he said he needs the help. If he can make it to Houston next week for some more testing, he wants one of us girls to go with him there, and then another one to go the next week. I think we'll end up being there with Todd, or crossing over. I hate waiting. I would go tomorrow, but it's Dad who keeps on saying, well, let's wait to see what this doctor says tomorrow... Houston is supposed to call him tomorrow, so that will let us know what's going on up there, and then hopefully we can book the tickets.
I told my kids they aren't allowed to move away from us. NEVER. It's too hard being far away. I hate it. I miss both my mom and dad. I miss home. There's a pit in my stomach.
Pray for my dad.

DOD (Dear Old Dad)

Not much to report. Yesterday I spoke to Will, while he was at the hospital with Dad. Dad hasn't been up to talking much, bc he doesn't have the energy or oxygen too, but it was nice to know he was there. I asked how he was doing, and he gave Will a thumbs down. :( I asked if we knew anything from the doctor's and my dad said, "well, I'm not dead yet." He still has his amazing positive outlook... even though we know he is in so much pain. Will said he gets real out of breathe and energy while moving around, so I said, "Oh, you're getting up and walking around?!" My dad said, "well, to the bathroom." :( To the bathroom... that's it. That wears him out. He is on a lot of pain killers. Not morphin, that gives him a belly ache. He is sleeping a lot. Sleeping makes him not eat, which takes away his energy... which makes him sleep more. I don't want him to sleep.
He is supposed to get his lungs drained today and the catheters put in at 1:30pmET. They haven't talked about letting him out of the hospital yet. From what we have heard, from Kellie's sister in law, catheters in the lungs is a painful procedure. :( I guess the liquid in his lungs has to do with the lymphnodes 'malfunctioning,' for lack of a better word. That's just what I think anyway, it's hard to research that. Everything directs me to lung cancer.
We might go home next weekend to see him, just the siblings again. We will probably go look at his 'spot' and pick out the plot with everyone. I want DOD to be on his plot. That is just Dad. Everything he ever sends or writes us, always has DOD on it. I can even hear his voice... my kids can even hear him say. "Hellooo, this is Dear Old Dad!" I love it.
Hope. That's all we all can do. Maybe things will turn around. They have before, and then I get a little embarrassed for being all dramatic, but, I'm justified. I don't need to explain to anyone I don't think. This time seems different though. I just want him to wake up!!

Stitches!

Isaac sent me this picture with a message that said, "Prob just gluing her thumb owie." What! Seriously, I don't even get a call anymore. :)
Danielle slammed her thumb in the car door and Isaac said she then tried to pull it out and left a pretty good gash. :( You can tell in the picture that she is pretty happy still. Dr Graham was the on call ER doc today, which I am totally happy about. He's the one who did her lip.
She ended up getting 3 stitches. She said, "it's not fun to bleed and get hurt." :(
Before and after pics. Looks gross. Isaac said she cried a little, but she is one tough cookie! :) When I got home we changed her band aid and she was very upset I did not have a princess band aid. I can see after cutting your finger and getting 3 stitches, I would be upset about the band aid too! :) Poor lady. :(

3/14- She had them out! Isaac said she cried a little. She's so big!

Blogging

I really am not a bad blogger. I have almost 30 drafts that I have not posted. I'm a nerd. Either I haven't added the pictures that I wanted, or I feel like I need to start at the beginning and post those first. I'll get around to it.
In the mean time, I have blogged about my dad a lot! These last few, I just felt like I wanted to finally publish. For me. I just needed it to be out there. Lindsay, Isaac's sister, told me once it was therapeutic to write about all of this. It has been therapeutic to write about everything that's been going on with my dad, and now this is just one more step. I feel better publishing these last few posts for some reason. Things are not good. :(

Dad update-liquid

You know that liquid, that we thought was just an infection... well, it's not. It's cancer. I guess when the cancer gets really bad, the liquid starts to take over your body, and that is why it is filling up his lungs.
Dad had to go to the hospital again yesterday to get his lungs drained. Drained?? Again? Didn't he just do that. Yes, he did, but I guess this will be reoccurring often now. My problem is, why didn't anyone tell us what the liquid was before. :( They had the test results. ....This is what Kellie told me. They had the test results ready last Wed, but they wanted my dad to come in, bc they can't tell him over the phone. My dad was headed to MD Anderson in Houston on Th through Friday though, so he wouldn't be able too come into the doctor's until Monday.. and here it is Monday, and he's back in the hospital. Sounds like a timing issue, but I'm just a little irritated they didn't make it a point to tell us. :( Ah well, I'm not there though, so I don't know what's going on, and really, what difference would it have made. He did go to MD Anderson last week. He was able to get one set of shots, but not the other, bc his creatine levels were still too high. We kind of expected that, but it's a bummer. :(
Will took him to the ER last night, bc he really can't breathe. Kellie said they waited in the ER for 3 hours! Poor guy. I understand he isn't bleeding or having a baby, but that is just a really hard wait for someone in his condition. He's been sleeping ever since they got there pretty much, which I don't think is good. I tried calling him, but Kellie answered, said he's not really talking on the phone. He's on oxygen because he can't breathe, let alone talk. I researched liquid in the lungs last night. It gave me a lot of lung cancer information. I asked Kellie if this was considered lung cancer of just cancer in the lungs. She said the cancer is just spreading. From the words of Will.. "not good.". .... If you knew Will, that's saying a lot. He's been pretty positive.
The PA was the only one there last night, so she couldn't really answer many questions. She just said that the liquid is a bad sign. Means it's coming to an end basically. They should be talking to the doctor today. I called Ryan and Bev last night, and Todd this morning to let them know what's going on. Kellie and I talked for a really long time last night. She's having a hard time. Being the oldest, having to basically make all final arrangements, being the only one there... besides Will and Bonnie. I wish we could be there. :( She has a lot of responsilibities though, Dad has given her a list. She's exhausted, and needed help making phone calls. I am more than willing. It's the least I can do. We have been texting all morning nonstop.
What we know as of now. He still has his UTI from last week. He just can't fight it as easily. They will drain the liquid from the lungs, we are hoping today, but probably tomorrow. The doctor is going to see if he is a candidate to have catheters in his lungs, like he did for his kidneys, but that doctor has not come in yet. I hope he is.
Sorry, I am really all over the place. A lot to take in.
Prayers!!!
Oh, McKenna has fasted almost every Sunday since she turned 7. I am so proud of her. It's a big deal. Well, on Sunday, we fasted for Grandpa. It was very special.


***Wow, I just re read this and it is really bad. In my defense, I was at work and didn't have a lot of time. I just wanted to get everything off my mind. Maybe I'll fix it later, but not tonight. :( It's too much to think about.

Dad

Dad seems to be going down hill often lately. :( He was in the hospital last week, because of a couple of infections. He had a urinary tract infection and also an infection in his lungs. They took out a liter in one of his lungs! Crazy right! Let me back up. he went to the doctor on Tuesday morning, because he was having trouble breathing. Dr. Thomas, (who was our family doctor growing up) told him he needed to go to the ER. So, what does my dad do, he goes out to dinner with his sister and her boyfriend first. He has had the best outlook on life during this time of cancer. He has been so positive, and has just wanted to enjoy himself. I talked to Kellie, and she was a little bugged that dad didn't go in right away, but after all, can you blame him. He knows he'll go to the hospital and be stuck for a few days. Atleast he got a good meal out of it!
So, he went in on Tuesday and was able to get out Saturday. I talked to Dad on Tuesday, and he's in a lot of pain. They took his pain meds away, bc he didn't have them in the prescription bottle. I understand that there is policy for that obviously, BUT, they lowered his pain med dose. Seriously!? Give the guy a break. He was in so much pain and they wouldn't give him anything ore for it. Luckily, Dr. Cohen came in on Wednesday and approved his meds again. Dad says he is supposed to be eating salt, and drinking lots of water, to get his creatin levels up, but they wouldn't give him the salt he wanted either. He's so miserable. :( It's such a roller coaster, bc on Thursday morning, we thought all would be well, and he would just get his lungs drained and go home. Turns out, he couldn't have the lungs drained because he was on a blood thinner, so they couldn't do the procedure until Friday. He was on a blood thinner, bc I guess it's hospital policy.. something like that. It just seems we don't get all the questions answered that I feel like we should. Friday, he was able to get one lung drained, a whole liter, but that is when they found out it was an infection, so they couldn't drain the other one. ...again, something to do with the way things are done, they had to drain the infection out another way... We should find out what the infection is at the beginnign of next week, but I'm guessing if we haven't heard anything, then it's treatable. He's tired, but he is breathing better. That's an answer to prayer. He was really bummed that he missed his grandson, Vance, first birthday party. It was even at his house, but they just wouldn't discharge him. :(
Kellie and Will said he was sleeping all day Saturday and Sunday. Hospitals wear him out. I hate cancer. :( From one it sounds like though, this was just another bump in the road. They are occurring a lot more lately, and they seem to be worse each time something happens, but at least he's home and resting.
One more thing. It's hard to let myself go back... "there." In September, we really thought it was the end. He was SO sick, and we didn't think we had much time with him. Then, over Thanksgiving, he did a 180, and was so awesome! I mean, he was tired, but he had great energy, and was getting around really well. It just makes us think that, once again, dad is unstoppable, and can beat anything. ...even though I know this will be his fate, it's hard to let myself go to that place again. It's emotionally draining.

We're hoping his creatine levels go down enough for him to be able to get the experimental treatment in Houston that he has been working for at MD Anderson. He has been out a few times, but something always seems to happens. The insurance isn't covering it, they don't have enough drugs, his creatine levels are too high. I hope and pray something will come of it if he is able to go this weekend!!